There is only one soultion now.
More Diet Coke.
And a couple of codiene.
I am now remembering how I got through my first degree.
Officially feel like CRAP inspite of having deep conditioned my hair with my favourite conditioner. Exams and I do NOT mix.
Urgh. Is almost 4am. Have no clues for exam tommorow. Am a bit fuckered. Um. Yeah.
I must make an Ooooooooops icon as I have many of these moments.
I recieved the following in one of those ridiculous emails that is passed around and around in an endless loop of its a small world afterall. I only ever read these when studying, but was so amused by this greatly. So I request that everyone who hasn't already seen it answer this in my LJ so I can see which of you have been diagnosed as "Psychopaths".
So which one of you is the Patrick Bateman amongst us?
This is a genuine psychological test. Read carefully!
It is a story about a girl.
While at the funeral of her own mother, she met this guy whom she did not know.
She thought this guy was amazing, she believed him to be so much her dream guy, that she fell in love with him but never asked for his number and then.......
A few days later, the girl killed her own sister.
What is her motive in killing her sister? Give this some thought for a while before answering.
I will publish the answer of what is considered a genuine "psychopath" tommorow.
Did excersise this morning. Now have blister on the back of my right foot (I have a bone that juts out of the foot and always causes problems in shoes). I also need a nap. Can't possibly study. Nonono. Nap. Sleep. Yes. Indeed. I better do that. Hrrrrrrrm. :-D
This icon (see above) perfectly reflects my present mood. The fucking invoice still hasn't come through and it isn't the account, I just sent a trial email. ARGH! Fuck! ARGH!
EDIT: It came through! Woo Hoo! Yay! Oh dear! That means I need a Yay!Icon... Hrrrrrrrm. Who wants to make me an Aragorn!Yay icon, huh? Or do I have to do everything myself around here?
Booked a complicated flight plan for RP using several different carriers with cheapest available with doubling back and forth over a number of states over period of a week... and now the Qantas reciept hasnt come through although the flight was confirmed. And this is for the first flight out... so its the one I need done NOW. WTF is it? It took an hour to work out his flight plan and now I will have to try and follow up and find out why I have no reciept for it! Bastardos! I need that for reimbursement purposes from the fucking grants for him. I HATE IT WHEN SIMPLE THINGS BECOME STUPIDLY COMPLICATED. I HATE WORKING. I HATE RESPONSIBILITY. FUCK FUCK FUCK. Bloody Qantas.
I am feeling much more positive. Sometimes I think what would dad tell me to do or what would his opinion be of this? And it hurts that I can never really know, I can only pretend, but that pretending is something at least. Positive about small things and positive about big things. I am with Mr Emerson. I don't believe in the world sorrow. I believe in moving forward and when things don't work out the way you wanted, doing better next time and making them better. Small mistakes and big ones included.
I am going to be attending religious education. This is something that I know many of my friends will not understand or appreciate, but it is also something I want to do. So please just accept it. I feel it will make me feel better. I know it could well be part of some emotional breakdown on my part. However I have thought this through and decided that of all the emotional crutches religion is the least detrimental I could be desiring to turn to. It is not a dangerous behaviour that is likely to cause problems in my life or for my future. So although I do not believe it is a decision I will regret or later reject, even if it is, I know it is not one which will make my life anyworse even if it does not make it any better. I have thought it through and considered carefully how vulnerable I am now. And I think this a positive and good thing.
The amusing thing - that I think only fellow Australians will appreciate - is who I will be attending bible classes with. Tampa Refugees. Yes, really. A bunch of them decided to convert to Catholisism from Islam as they (quote/unquote) "like the lifestyle". I find this fascinating.
I have been discussing my great new writing ideas (TM) with various people, most of whom have been supportive and enthusiastic. That is also excellent. I was really worried about my proposals but it seems ok.
Now I just have to force myself to maintain this hopeful mood through my exams.
To all of you who have bothered being a friend to me when it wasn't just convienient, when it actually cost you effort, thank you. Even if that effort seemed small to you, to me it seemed so precious. There are things a person doesn't forget.
For any person who is interested I have started a fiction journal for my writing under the name Muppet_Fiction.
This will include a mixture of friend only and open posts depending on the content.
It feels as if the one thing I enjoyed is now deaded. I feel better than I did last night but not great. Then I tell myself to put it in perspective and want to slap myself. No idea why I feel so crap. The only upside that I can see is that I will now have more time on my hands for other writing... and as I said yesterday I have had the most brilliant fic idea. As in BRILLIANT! It is the only thing amusing me when everything else is crap! I will reveal more as it starts to evolve.